lessons is happiness: lower your expectations



Mothers Day is a funny kind of holiday. As a daughter I've always felt a self-inflicted pressure to make the day special for my mother. Now as a mother, its an odd balance in trying to make the day special for both my mother and mother-in-law, while trying to make a bit of space for myself to relax. I think I've always imagined I would be celebrated by my kids in amazing style. Applause and accolades and champagne and pats on the back all day long. Years past I have felt a combination of disappointed, tired, unprepared, overtaxed, and detached. Not good.

This year, in pursuit of a happier sort of Mother's Day I decided to lower my expectations. I let it be known that all that mattered to me is that I not spend all day cooking and cleaning. That was it. So, instead of cooking a big brunch for everyone, we went out to brunch. The food was decent. But neither I nor my mothers or sister had to cook it or clean up after it! We got to sit and enjoy each other instead. Then we all went home for naps (well, the littlest one and I anyway) and met up back at our house for a BBQ in the evening. My amazing husband shopped and cooked. When it was time to eat we all pitched in to set the table, and clear it afterward. And for the first time I really, truly, enjoyed Mothers Day. My expectations: a day with my family where I didn't have to cook or clean. What I got: a day with my family where I didn't have to cook or clean, a nap, time to take family portraits, a sweet hand drawn card from my son, and a feeling of joy and peace instead of disappointment and responsibility.

LESSON: Lower your expectations.

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