a moment of gratitude

The little one is sick today. Nothing too horrible, just a cold. But every time he gets sick it takes me back to a night when he was twelve weeks old.

We had just moved little Leo into his own room a few night earlier, hoping that being a little farther away from mama would result in a better night of sleep for everyone. He had the tiniest of colds, so we put on the humidifier and left him. After his midnight feeding everything seemed fine. But around 4am I woke up to the strangest sound. I couldn't figure out exactly what it was, but it didn't sound good.

Running into Leo's room I found him red faced and unable to breathe. His mouth was thick with mucous and he was making a horrifying choking sound. I simultaneously screamed for Derick and turned Leo over onto his tummy and whomped him on his back like we learned in infant CPR. When Derick came running I made him get the bulb syringe, and I sucked the rest of the mucous out of his airway. Leo was able to get a breath, and recovered quite quickly.

That was probably the most terrifying 3 minutes of my life. I spent the rest of the night with Leo sleeping on my chest just feeling grateful. And every time one of the boys is sick now, I am taken back there. Both to the fear and the gratitude. Their lives are so precious, and we are so lucky to have them. I am reminded to be grateful for them all the time.

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